Dating In The Workplace

Do you act the same at home and in the office? Do you dress the same, behave the same, and speak the same? I mean, if you were the same person in your personal environment and in the work milieu, wouldn’t life get a little mundane?

Well, combine this idea with dating someone from your office and you may come across a complete stranger in your bed. I mean the person you met at work has a completely different social security number than the person you brought home and woke up with.

So let me give you a brief explanation. I met a guy at a meeting, thought he was adorable and we had “so much in common!” Clearly we share the same everyday interests being we were in the same industry and although we didn’t know each other that long, we seemed to have many of the same outside interests as well. Bonus points being he was a total cutie!

Undoubtedly I was smitten, until I realized my charming coworker is NUTS. Not nuts in the fun, “party like” way, but neurotic, irrational, obsessed and crazy like a lunatic. Like medications are necessary to calm him down and make him sensible.

Outside the office, he was completely stream of consciousness, couldn’t stay on one topic for more than two sentences, constantly talking about himself and saving the world due to his involvement in his local community’s politics.  As a member of the Young Republicans Club, I’ve never met a more “important” person in my life, or so he kept telling me. Yes, he could help his friend get out of a local parking ticket, but could he behave at dinner the way he could around a conference table? Could he be quiet and serene at any other point in time besides at a conference? Unfortunately, he couldn’t.

Needless to say after our last date when he drank himself silly and then took an Ambien to fall asleep, I couldn’t help but think this boy was bipolar. What happened to the person in the suit and tie, who seemed so appropriate and even keeled at 9AM? By the time the clock hit 5 PM his tranquility turned to uproar.  He lost all of his composure and let his inner, neurotic Ego out.


Yes, I could have been mature and have had a conversation with him,  but isn’t it easier just to ignore it, stop returning phone calls and make the next meeting all that much more awkward?  Of course it was more stressful, but only on the first hellos. Then it’s forgotten about, at least on my end until I see him staring at me across the room, in mirror reflections and having him sit at my tables.

All I can do is simply laugh at the person in the workplace knowing by day he’s Clark Kent and by night, instead of Superman, he turns in to more of the “Joker.” A little loud, neurotic, devil who thinks everyone’s out to get him.

Again I think we all have independent personas in our personal lives vs. our work lives, but not completely different. I’m not me by day and Paris by night or me by day and working the back rooms at Scores at night. There has to be a happy medium.

A more thorough screening process for the boy or girl you meet at work must be implemented before going straight out with them one on one. Try the group date and see how they behave differently amongst your peers than how they are in the cubicles. Maybe he or she is just as shy outside of work as they are inside or maybe they let out so much of their inner Ego out there just isn’t enough room for him and anyone else in the room.

No matter what, you just stay true to yourself and don’t try to compete with or live up to anyone else’s behavior. They will come around and realize that their bizarre behavior isn’t being welcomed and will take it down a notch or two or simply just disregard everyone else’s aloofness and believe he will go on saving the world.  Like all bipolar folks, let them be whom ever they want to be, whenever they want to be them, but don’t get involved so deeply that you must become a person with two different identities.

It can be confusing to those who knew you first!

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