ask and you shall find

Cities become small, no matter which one you live in, and the older we get, the less people there are to meet, the more people we have already met, and the more people our friends have gone out with.  It’s unfortunate, but it’s true.

For example, I came home from the gym the other day glowing to my friend that I met my future husband. Now I go to the gym often and NEVER have met, nor am interested in meeting anyone there.  This man on my row machine was a newcomer and really, we were destined to “work in” together.

So after hearing me out and watching me blush talking about “boy wonder,” my friend starts to literally laugh out loud and says, “You do realize that your new “boyfriend” is my vacation boyfriend.”  Yes, my gym “boyfriend” is the same guy my friend “met” on her vacation a few months earlier.

Granted, they lost touch and I never heard from him, but please, this is getting incestuous, no?  Would I have been wrong to have gone out with him if I heard from him? She has a boyfriend now and being my best friend only wants me to be happy, but that’s just too awkward. I should go on a double date with my best friend, her boyfriend, my date who just so happens to be the guy she was with for a week? No, I don’t think that’d be too comfortable for anyone.

And what about the “ask around?” You know when you meet someone and then ask everyone you know about him or her. Not smart. Eventually someone will really know the person you’re asking about and have something to say that doesn’t sit well.

At some point someone will have dated them, knows their exes or even “hooked up” with them one night in a drunken state on a dance floor. None of these reasons are reason enough not to go out on a date, but wouldn’t it just be easier not to know?

So go out, have fun, meet tons of people, but do yourself a favor and don’t ASK anyone their opinions. Go out, get to know the person for yourself and then TELL everyone about the great date you went on.


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