Clearly, to each their own, however, I think there’s something to be said about a quality first date. What I mean by quality is not where you go, what you do, or how much money is spent, but it’s about respect, intelligent conversation, manners, and of course laughter and hopefully attraction. Clearly a date without any pressure!
This is a rare experience. I often find set ups can be hyped by the person setting you up, online set ups are hard to gauge what is fact vs. fiction, bar situations are great, but then you may question if your remember this person as accurately as you thought. Good old run of the mill spontaneity is often what works best.
Recently I was approached by a man who “thinks I was at the same New Year’s party” as he was last year. In fact, this was not a pick up line, but a fact. I did remember him being flirtatious with me, but didn’t know if I was interested in pursuing it and left him to find someone else to share a New Year’s Kiss with. He in fact did and she ended up being a “psycho.”
Almost a year later I’m not sure how he recognized me, but he did, asked me out, and I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised. Unfortunately a lot of life is timing, and in this situation there was little time to waste due to a long vacation he is about to embark on. Instead of keeping in touch via email for almost three weeks and pushing our meeting off till he got back, without hesitation he met me out on a weekend night in between two parties that I had.
Let’s just say I wish I never made it to those parties. He was smart, funny, charming, intelligent, and every other trite adjective one can use about someone they go out with once.
There was NO pressure and I feel like that made all the difference. We went for light tapas and wine, had a quick 1 ½ date, laughed and relaxed. That was all there was to it. Simple and easy! So easy in fact that we were able to find the time before his flight for one last drink the night before he left.
I’m not an idealist and do not think “THIS IS IT.” I just now see the difference between a relaxed, stress free date where no one is out to impress anyone, and a date where it’s all about the “one up.” The who, what, when, where, why and how is not what’s important, but being able to be yourself is what makes a perfect first date.
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