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to our loved ones

Dear Johns –

We’re not writing to tell you we’re leaving you, but to ask you one thing. WHAT IS TAKING YOU ALL SO LONG?

Can you possibly be lost in the days of Mapquest?

We’ve been patient for over 30 years and have dated “Boring Johns,” “Cocky Johns,” “Fun Johns,” “Hot Johns,” “Too Serious Johns” and everyone of their brother’s. Where are the “Perfect for Us Johns?”

Are you going to knock on our doors to deliver the groceries, knock us over on the subway or perhaps coincidentally be sitting at the table when we arrive at a dinner party? Maybe, because we can tell you where you haven’t been! You haven’t been in our offices, you haven’t been at the last 500 parties we’ve attended and you haven’t been sitting next to us on airplanes.

How patient do singles have to be in large cities?  Very!

With so many people to meet and so much to do in a Metropolitan area, relationships can sometimes be put on the back burner. I understand that Johns, but really, your careers are established, you finally own apartments and the exes are actually out of the picture.  Believe YOU ME, the grass isn’t going to get any greener; it already looks like Kermit the Frog.

So Johns, find your way back on track and then call us, don’t text, don’t email, but good ol’ fashion call!





ask and you shall find

Cities become small, no matter which one you live in, and the older we get, the less people there are to meet, the more people we have already met, and the more people our friends have gone out with.  It’s unfortunate, but it’s true.

For example, I came home from the gym the other day glowing to my friend that I met my future husband. Now I go to the gym often and NEVER have met, nor am interested in meeting anyone there.  This man on my row machine was a newcomer and really, we were destined to “work in” together.

So after hearing me out and watching me blush talking about “boy wonder,” my friend starts to literally laugh out loud and says, “You do realize that your new “boyfriend” is my vacation boyfriend.”  Yes, my gym “boyfriend” is the same guy my friend “met” on her vacation a few months earlier.

Granted, they lost touch and I never heard from him, but please, this is getting incestuous, no?  Would I have been wrong to have gone out with him if I heard from him? She has a boyfriend now and being my best friend only wants me to be happy, but that’s just too awkward. I should go on a double date with my best friend, her boyfriend, my date who just so happens to be the guy she was with for a week? No, I don’t think that’d be too comfortable for anyone.

And what about the “ask around?” You know when you meet someone and then ask everyone you know about him or her. Not smart. Eventually someone will really know the person you’re asking about and have something to say that doesn’t sit well.

At some point someone will have dated them, knows their exes or even “hooked up” with them one night in a drunken state on a dance floor. None of these reasons are reason enough not to go out on a date, but wouldn’t it just be easier not to know?

So go out, have fun, meet tons of people, but do yourself a favor and don’t ASK anyone their opinions. Go out, get to know the person for yourself and then TELL everyone about the great date you went on.



Is there etiquette on researching a person you’re set up with before you actually meet?

Think about this, in today’s age of Google, MySpace, Facebook and Friendster it’s extremely tempting to know every single detail about the person you’re going out with before you actually meet them, including where they may have birthmarks or piercings.

But is this good?

I don’t think so. Let’s form our own opinions of the people we meet and not know their social security numbers and pin number to their bank account before the first drink.  Perhaps the chubby, curly haired, midget, your mother’s, friend’s Aunt wants you to meet grew up to become a thin, thick haired, beauty, but can’t be relieved of the stereotypes from grade school.

Recently a friend was being set up with a woman who replied to his witty introductory email, with an even wittier one. Basically she “Googled” him and found out that he was a well known composer, carpenter, border line professional athlete, who looked like a wart hog. She said she was willing to overlook these things and take a chance though.

Now, that’s a funny reply, but let’s be honest, she still REALLY did “Google” him to check him out because when I went on Google, those were all entries I found under my friend’s name.

At least if you’re going to succumb to the level of snooping around on the web for every minute detail about your blind date, maybe you should consider NOT ADMITTING IT! I must tell you, if someone divulged that to me, I would have a restraining order put on the person before we even went out.

If you know everything, you’re blind date isn’t so “blind,” and I don’t care what anyone says, you can’t separate what you already know from what you are pretending to find out.

The Internet makes things too personal too quickly and my advice would be to take a real chance and go on an actual blind date. Form your own opinion of people, because the person that once was or is seen in a 2 X 2 photo online, may not be the person that is.



1975 was just about the time when addressing sexuality in public became almost politically acceptable and no one did it more outrageously than Terrence McNally in his Broadway hit musical “The Ritz”. He set his stage in a gay bathhouse in Manhattan where mostly naked men strutted around in mini bath towels, touching one another and baring more than just their chests.

The concept at the time was daring because it wasn’t common that homosexuality was discussed openly and outwardly, let alone acted out, live and in our faces. In 1975 this was a new idea and must have received shocking reviews, but now the concept is kind of old and played out.

Nothing about gay, naked men is shocking on Broadway anymore, especially after “Take Me Out” won the TONY in 2003 and shows like Spring Awakening, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie and History Boys put sex, nudity and sexual abuse, in our faces.

Back in the day, I’m sure “The Ritz” was an over the top comedy where the lead character needed to hide from his mobster Brother-in-Law, and ended up at the gay bathhouse. Here he found himself sexually assaulted by the men at bathhouse as well as the one woman who resides there as the entertainment.

In today’s version of “The Ritz,” the Latino female entertainer is Rosie Perez, and due to her high pitched vocal tone and her fast paced speaking, she was extremely difficult to understand. Both Latino women and homosexual men are completely clichéd in this production and due to the recurrent nature of the homosexual theme; the show was a bit dated.

I would have liked to have seen the original back in the day because I’m sure I would have been stunned out of my seat, but this week in 2007 I was a bit bored, thought I was hard of hearing due to the fast paced yelling, and door slamming and was hoping to get more laughs out of the played out antics.


Back To My Roots

I know I’m an adult and am supposed to act my age, but sometimes it’s refreshing to know I can still behave like the wild sorority girl I once was.

Rarely can I convince my friends to join me at more adolescent, “divey,” bars, for more spontaneous, random evenings, but this past Friday night I succeeded, and she came willingly!  Off to Brother Jimmy’s BBQ on the Upper East Side for cheap drinks, cheesy 80’s music and hopefully a little bit of trouble reminiscent of my university days. 

We may have been the oldest patrons by at least 5 years, but we were easily the lives of the party.  We got ourselves invited to our table neighbor’s birthday party and persuaded the young folks on our other side to buy a “garbage can” for all three tables to help celebrate.  Twenty of us were not able to finish this giant pretzel keg sized drink consisting of mostly 151.

We danced, we sang, we took shots and eventually we left when we decided it was time to check out another old stomping ground, Sutton Place.  The crowd was weak at Sutton Place, but maybe that was because it was late and it’s more of a “happy hour” bar.  We never should have left Brother Jimmy’s where the crowd was young, but for sure wild, entertaining, and adorable to boot.              

It wasn’t my intention of keeping a youthful theme going with my weekend, but Saturday night kept my formative years alive and kicking.  Thanks to a LONG but worthy wait in the lounge at Bond Street and being part of a party consisting of only two girls and a guy, again, I found myself invited to yet another 26 year old’s birthday party.

The catch here was that this one was open bar. Clearly a no brainer, we would head over to Marquis Lounge on Bowery and Great Jones after dinner. The place felt like a huge living room with Moroccan décor, had a small bar and played mediocre music. The young boys from Bond Street were thrilled we showed and were more than willing to open up their already open bar to strangers. 

Sure one of the boys “bought” me a few drinks, but none of these younger men I met this weekend were for me. They were cute and sweet, but not serious and not secure enough to talk to women until they were completely inebriated. 

That’s okay though because by the time Sunday morning came around I realized I’m way too old to drink this much and stay out this late too many nights in a row. One night of reliving my college years at a time is more than this mind, liver and body handle.


What Made van Gogh Crazy?

“Painted with Words, Vincent van Gogh’s Letters to Emile Bernard” is a small exhibit at The Morgan Library and Museum, but large enough to give creative insight into the life of the artist most famously known for cutting off his left ear during in an act of “craziness,” and the painting Starry Night.

The letters are written between 1887 and 1889 and reveal van Gogh’s thoughts on life, art and religion during that time and how he mentored Bernard during his early stages.  Interestingly, what was left out of these letters was the clear cut emotional turmoil van Gogh was feeling during these years.

What made VvG so insane? Obviously he was mentally ill and regardless whether this was caused because of neurological issues such as epilepsy or because he swallowed too much paint, I’d LOVE to know his deepest, darkest secrets during these two pivotal years. Remember, he was in an asylum during this time and ultimately shot himself, so clearly he didn’t work through his problems so successfully.

What made Vincent van Gogh such a lunatic? No money? Try working out of a studio in Tribeca that’s 350 Square Feet.  Too much air pollution from paint? Try inhaling bus fumes and asbestos from pipe explosions. Too much pressure to be famous? Try making it for one minute on Broadway, in Hollywood or in the artistic realm today.

Don’t get me wrong, the man more or less invented Impressionist art, but I want answers. The letters were beautifully written and the sketches that paralleled them were divine, but I need more depiction as to what was going on in the inside of his head. What caused the screws to come loose?

These 20 letters don’t tell us about the mental man, but show a different side of him. The letters depict a more emotional painter who was a caregiver and a mentor to his students, and avoids talking about his bipolar, sick individual persona.

Let the man be who he wanted to be at whatever point in time he’s painting. This is how Vincent van Gogh became such an individual in his works. 

I’m telling you after reading these letters and getting a better understanding of VvG’s life, you’re going to need a minute to sit and debrief. At what point in his life was he healthy and during that time what type of art was he focusing on? It gets confusing to keep it all straight.

Just enjoy Vincent van Gogh for being the most creative artist of his time and enjoy it over the extraordinary lobster salad at the Morgan Dining Room. Just make a reservation ahead of time.


Dinner and a Movie Date Recommendation

Michael Clayton is an intense thriller as opposed to a quirky love story, however, I still recommend it as a great movie date selection. It’s a thought provoking film that will stir great conversation for the rest of the evening.

Upon first reflection, I hated the movie, but after thinking about it, why did I hate it? I hated it because it made me stressed and intense. It rattled me and shook my nerves up so much that I was edgy for two hours straight and desperately needed a drink.

Granted, looking at George Clooney is always comforting, but if this movie didn’t star the most sought after actor in Hollywood, would Michael Clayton have any endearing qualities? Clearly, yes. Any movie that can elicit these types of emotions is apparently a movie worthy of a Hollywood buzz .

Obviously this was an extreme movie, and in the end it made me question a lot of the big business’ I’m familiar with and the people that defend them. Don’t these industries have morals to guide their ultimate decisions? Are “fixers” like Michael Clayton truly necessary to break up powerful companies that are harming our livelihood?

In this powerful thriller perhaps we did, but after thinking about it I realize if it wasn’t for big business we wouldn’t have the food we eat, the medicines that cure us, the people to defend and the education provided to us. I was able to calm my nerves and justify the world in my own head.

But now it’s time for less contemplation, justification and rationalization, and more thought on where to eat and what to drink!

Who else to turn to than Steve Hanson, the restaurateur responsible for the B.R. Guest franchise (Ruby Foo’s, Blue Water Grill, Fiama, Level V). I’m not a big carnivore but I have to say I loved Primehouse because of its twist on the typical steakhouse experience. It doesn’t try too hard to be a “female” steakhouse like STK, but is not overwhelmingly manly like Wolfgang’s.

Although it is an enormous venue, its friendly staff and not too eclectic architecture gives it a homey feel, filled with geometric design and an art deco aesthetic. The menu is a great combination of classic steakhouse offerings with a twist of the chef’s own personal touches.

So in the end Michael Clayton and Primehouse New York was a date combining the best of both worlds. Thought provoking, mindful, reflection and conversation, combined with indulgence, pleasure a slight buzz to lead to perhaps a second date????