to our loved ones

Dear Johns –

We’re not writing to tell you we’re leaving you, but to ask you one thing. WHAT IS TAKING YOU ALL SO LONG?

Can you possibly be lost in the days of Mapquest?

We’ve been patient for over 30 years and have dated “Boring Johns,” “Cocky Johns,” “Fun Johns,” “Hot Johns,” “Too Serious Johns” and everyone of their brother’s. Where are the “Perfect for Us Johns?”

Are you going to knock on our doors to deliver the groceries, knock us over on the subway or perhaps coincidentally be sitting at the table when we arrive at a dinner party? Maybe, because we can tell you where you haven’t been! You haven’t been in our offices, you haven’t been at the last 500 parties we’ve attended and you haven’t been sitting next to us on airplanes.

How patient do singles have to be in large cities?  Very!

With so many people to meet and so much to do in a Metropolitan area, relationships can sometimes be put on the back burner. I understand that Johns, but really, your careers are established, you finally own apartments and the exes are actually out of the picture.  Believe YOU ME, the grass isn’t going to get any greener; it already looks like Kermit the Frog.

So Johns, find your way back on track and then call us, don’t text, don’t email, but good ol’ fashion call!





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